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Joke of the Day

"I just slept 8 hours straight Then another 2 hours gay"

"You're about as useless as an asshole with tastebuds."

"Today I got a job offer as a Mexican child kidnapper... ...Gracias, pero no pedo."

"Playing 8-person smash was one of the deepest and most thought provoking experiences I've ever had... I spent the whole time trying to find myself"

"I just got back from the battered women's shelter... Boy are my arms tired!"

"I overcooked some pasta earlier - it got all soggy and mushy. Making the best of a bad situation, I put it in a mug and tried to down it. I soon gave up though - it was an act of *Fusilli Tea*."

"Whenever I read the phrase ""We've changed our privacy policy,"" I just shrug and assume they already have pictures of me on the toilet."

"Nothing says "" My divorce didn't go as planned "" quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars"

"Did you know scientists just announced diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes"

"What do you call a berry with a sore throat? A raspberry!"