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Joke of the Day

"Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended. He must have done something that even the BBC find inexcusable So that rules out child abuse then...."

"Why did Helen Kellers kid commit suicide You would also if your name was Hughhhawahfluh Keller"

"When is the only time a woman says something smart? When her sentence starts with ""A wise man once said"""

"I've got two part time jobs. I'm a boxer, and a warm up act at the comedy club. I read between the punchlines."

"Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start."

"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke."

"Some random guy on the street turned me into a bottle of tequila which rather annoyed me. I hate when people Patronize me"

"Two muffins are in the oven. . . One turns to the other and says ""its a bit hot in here"", the other screams ""ahhh! a talking muffin"""

"July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers."

"Guy walks into a bar... So this Jewish guy walks into a bar in New York with a parrot on his shoulder. The Bartender goes where'd you get that? And the parrot says, ""in Brooklyn, they're everywhere."""