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Joke of the Day

"Jeremy Clarkson has been suspended. He must have done something that even the BBC find inexcusable So that rules out child abuse then...."

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"Why did Helen Kellers kid commit suicide You would also if your name was Hughhhawahfluh Keller"
"When is the only time a woman says something smart? When her sentence starts with ""A wise man once said"""
"I've got two part time jobs. I'm a boxer, and a warm up act at the comedy club. I read between the punchlines."
"Worst thing about having sex with a Canadian girl is having to sit through BOTH of our national anthems before we start."
"What's the difference between a joke and two dicks? You can't take a joke."
"Some random guy on the street turned me into a bottle of tequila which rather annoyed me. I hate when people Patronize me"
"Two muffins are in the oven. . . One turns to the other and says ""its a bit hot in here"", the other screams ""ahhh! a talking muffin"""
"July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers."
"Guy walks into a bar... So this Jewish guy walks into a bar in New York with a parrot on his shoulder. The Bartender goes where'd you get that? And the parrot says, ""in Brooklyn, they're everywhere."""