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Joke of the Day
"What do the Irish do after winning the world cup? They proceed to Chapter 9: The Dark Mark"
Next Joke
"Currently using my daughter's iTouch to read your tweets. Also, reading her emails and writing shit on her Facebook page."
"Your hips may not lie but your pushup bra is a sociopath."
"Yo mama so fat. . . I swerved my car to avoid hitting her and ran out of gas. Edit: TIL Reddit has very strong feelings about my mother."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cy ! Cy who ? Cy'n on the botton line !"
"Why is a redneck wedding and a tornado alike? Because either way someone is losing a trailer."
"What do you call a director of an anti-vampire organization? A stakeholder."
"A cheetah stalking its prey would envy the velocity at which I click the skip button when Apple Music plays a Nickelback track"
"The new sponge in the sink just brightened my day a little. Being an adult is stupid."
"I might care more about Twilight if Count Chocula was in it."