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Joke of the Day

"My friend committed suicide by taking 50 Tylenol. I don't know why he did that. He could have just taken 4 Aleve."

"[sips martini] *sigh* [sips margarita] Now THIS ONE is delicious! Waiter: Ma'am, you can't try drinks on other tables. Please sit down."

"What's the best part about living in Switzerland? Beats me, but the flag's a big plus."

"Smoking is actually a good thing for me Look how often I have to go outside into the fresh air"

"What did the jewish pedophile say to the child? ""Wanna buy some candy?"""

"A reality star, a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. And Josh Duggar orders a drink."

"A duck walks into rehab ""What're you here for?"" asks the desk lady. ""I'm addicted to quack."""

"US Mexicans who support Donald Trump Clearly demonstrate appreciation for a trip to beautiful Mexico. --- ^And ^come ^back."

"Sugar - Honey - Iced - Tea ... Guess what it means."

"Necrophilia So my parents recently forced me to go to a psychiatrist for my necrophiliac thoughts. Having sex with a dead girl was just a nail in the coffin."