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Joke of the Day
"Why can't Stevie Wonder see his friends? Because he's married."
Next Joke
"Wanna know how i know i'm getting laid tonight? Because i am stronger then you."
"My colleagues call me the pussy slayer... I'm in charge of euthanising cats at the kennel."
"I didn't think it was possible to travel 10 years back in time until I got into an argument with my wife."
"I was going to tell you guys a joke about my poop but.... It's too corny"
"I'm tired of being dissed by automated restroom paper towel dispensers."
"Talking with a 17 year-old who is 'living life with no regrets' reminds me of that time I got in a shouting match with a trout."
"I'm putting ""open bar"" on my invitations, but its gonna be a cash bar. Just because its my 3rd wedding doesn't mean u can skip it, slackers."
"Me: Can I have a Batmobile? Santa: Be realistic. Me: Ok, pass my Masters & get a good job? Santa: I'll leave the Batmobile in the garage."
"When my kids are bad I take them out to the woodshed and tell them a bunch of boring stories about the people at my work"