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Joke of the Day

"My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing ""Yeah, shake that shit..."""

"What did the doctor say to the speeding commuter? Thank you for your patients."

"What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady? And we will never know because he can't stand up."

"""Awww. There there."" *pats you on the face. Hard"

"What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the mud and crosses back over? A dirty double crosser."

"Me and my girlfriend are just too different... I exist and she doesn't"

"A fella visited his doctor and says "" hi doc, I'm totally depressed and suicidal because I can do crosswords very easily and quickly"" Doctor says "" hey come on now, don't get two down""!"

"Me: *Rubbing Chin* Why am I always hungry 30 mins after I eat Chinese food? Chin: [pushing my hand away}I dunno man I just deliver the food."

"Keep the tip Said the leper to the prostitute"

"Poor Will... He gets fired at a lot."