35359

Joke of the Day

"My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing ""Yeah, shake that shit..."""

"I made my girlfriend cry the other day. I called her son a bloody disappointment. Apparently she's very sensitive about her miscarriage."

"If you assume you make an ass out of you and me"

"When Miley Cyrus gets naked & licks a hammer it's ""art"" & ""music"". But when I do it, I'm ""drunk"" and ""have to leave the hardware store""."

"What's the best drink for a dog? An old faschund."

"I could be a morning person. If morning started around noon."

"Knowing is half the battle. The other half is choosing the right pokemon."

"Did you hear about the emotional wedding? Even the cake was in tiers!"

"You know, a cemetery isn't such a bad place. People are just dying to get in there"

"Black guy just told me ""Stay up playa"" but didnt say until what time and I usually go to bed around 11 so not sure what to do now."