35322

Joke of the Day

"My dad got me at the adoption center today He pretended to just leave me there. Good one dad, now come pick me up please."

"What did the martini say when someone put a toothpick in it? It hurts, but olive."

"Two olives are pals, and they're hanging from the tree like they'vebeen for months. Suddenly, one falls to the ground. The remainingone says, ""Are you ok?"" And the other replies, ""Olive!"""

"What did the boy say when his dog died? I'm gonna miss you buddy, you were my best friend."

"Did you hear the rumor that Sodium was dating Chloride? Na, I would take that for a grain of salt."

"Never buying anything home-made on eBay again... I bought an 'Irony Detector' off of eBay, but it was broken. It detected everything *but* irony..."

"On the 5th day of Christmas? Christmas is ONE day, Carol. Convert to Judaism if you need a longer holiday."

"I can cut a piece of wood in half just by looking at it..... It's true, I saw it with my own eyes."

"What do you get if you cross a dog with a sniper rifle and a car? A *range rover*!"

"What is Whitney houstons favorite type of coordination? HAAAANNNNNND EEEEYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE"