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Joke of the Day

"Went to the library today and asked have you got any books on mysterious disappearances? The librarian said "" Well, they used to be over there......"""

"The Band "" The Ghost Inside "" bus was just involved in a fatal crash I guess that means there could literally be a Ghost Inside, the bus."

"Damn gurrrl, is that chocolate on your face? *licks face* Damn gurrrl, that is not chocolate on your face."

"If Scientists invent a pill to make us immortal, I guarantee I'd choke to death swallowing it."

"Buddy of mine asked what will happen if Trump got elected... I replied, ""There will be hell toupee"""

"As I rowed my little boat Toward the river shore, A small black bird kept me from landing, Quoth the raven, ""never moor."""

"Sarah Palin is going to Haiti? Haven't these people been put through enough this year?"

"A pirate walks into a bar... He has a ship's wheel right on his crotch. The bartender asks: ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate reply's: ""ARRRRRGH, It's drivin' me nuts!"""

"How come Adele can call her ex 1,000 times and get a million dollars.... But when I do it, the Police show up."

"Doctor doctor can I have a bottle of aspirin and a pot of glue? Why? Because I've been at my computer all day and I've got a splitting headache!"