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Joke of the Day

"TIL that a baby can recognize its mother's heartbeat due to how much time they spent inside their mom I can also recognize your mom's heartbeat."

"Something is good and/or bad and makes me happy and/or angry. Please copy and paste this as your status update if you agree and/or disagree."

"It's sad when a woman has to get breast implants just to keep her husband interested... ...it's even worse when his are still bigger."

"My fashion sense has been described as ""They probably won't let you in like that"" and ""Are those your pajamas?"""

"Just saw a guy wearing sunglasses on the back of his head practicing his golf swing empty-handed. Hope my daughter's a lesbian."

"A women's logic: Hes nice, but I'd rather date an asshole, try to change him, fail, get my heart broken and preach ""All guys are the same"""

"What's Hitler's least favorite month? Jewn"

"What should we call Trump's newest scandal? Golden Gate."

"You're telling me, a chicken fried this rice"

"The Miss Universe pageant is fixed. All the winners are from Earth."