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Joke of the Day
"2 people confessed to killing Russian opposition leader Boris Nemtsov"
Next Joke
"[furniture store] Wife: We're putting in a bar. Salesman: OK Wife: And... S: Yes? W: Go ahead, say it. Me: WE'RE GONNA NEED A STOOL SAMPLE."
"Someone asked me if I wanted to watch Richard the third. I Said 'I haven't the seen the first 2'"
"You know how I found out I have a fruit fetish? I had an Orange Crush."
"""Tell me why I shouldn't report you to HR?"" The doctor yelled at me when I used the defibrillator wrong. ""I don't work here"" I yelled back."
"Why are all ants British? Because they colonize."
"What do you call the security guys at Samsung The guardians of the galaxy"
"Your sign says ""NO SHIRT, NO SHOES, NO SERVICE"", so it seems highly unfair that you kicked me out for not wearing pants."
"*at waffle house* ""do you want bacon or sausage?"" 'YES'"
"I hope it's not too weird the next time I get a haircut and the barber asks, ""So, how do you want it?"" and I reply, ""Like Ellen DeGeneres."""