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Joke of the Day
"There will be no screen names left for our children's children."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between an arrested public masturbator and a period? The period comes after the sentence."
"I'm trying to imagine you with a personality."
"Muslim women should be our allies... Because they will never suck a cops dick."
"Why do Hasidic Jews dress so strangely? Because they are unorthodox."
"A girl goes to the doctor, he takes out his stethoscope and says ""okay, big breaths."" To which the girl says ""yeah, and I'm only thixteen."""
"Someday, my kids will say ""daddy, wanna hear a cool story"" and it will actually be followed by the telling of a cool story."
"Just got a Cheerio stuck between my toes walking through the kitchen. Clearly my dog isn't doing his part of the chores around here"
"Michael J. Fox was in a car crash... ...a bystander ran up to check if he was ok. ""Yeah..."" Michael said ""I'm just a little shaken up"""
"How do you spot an engineer at a party? He'll come up to you and tell you himself."