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Joke of the Day
"what do you call the study of color? cyance"
Next Joke
"GF: Sue at the bra shop said u got some lingerie ME: ... G: Only u didn't give it to me M: [nervously adjusting thong] I'm having an affair"
"If spiders ever figure out how to become ghosts, we're screwed."
"My friend, upon hearing that Chris Pratt will be in the new Jurassic World film... Are you looking forward to Jurassic Parks and Recreation?"
"i stand up too fast fromthe toilet and some warm pee lands on my phone activiting the touch screen & texts the word 'autumn' to my aunt"
"I'm not always sarcastic... there's a lot of times I mean every bit of what I say."
"Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the shit out of them until the light comes on."
"What was the pedophile's favourite drink? The milkshake, because it brought all the boys to his yard"
"Marriage is like a hurricane... Starts with a bunch of sucking and blowing, and at the end you lose your house."
"ME: *vaping* FRIEND: is that just a fountain pen? ME: *ink all over my teeth* nope"