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Joke of the Day

"Why the fuck do babies enjoy being thrown in the air? How terrifying would it be if a giant repeatedly tossed you above their head?"

"What is the national sport of North Korea? Ping-Pyong-yang"

"The 2017 forecast just came in Looks like reign with a slight chance of heil."

"Everyone needs to chill the hell out about Roe V. Wade. Honestly, they're both valid ways to get across water."

"IT guy wants to be an astronaut Why did the IT guy want to be an astronaut? So he can find router space."

"So apparently Adrian Peterson is trying out for Major League Baseball teams... A lot of teams like that he is a switch hitter..."

"What did the psychopathic dry cleaner say to his victims? DYE, DYE , DYEEEEEEE!"

"There are two fish in a tank, one says to the other ""do you know how to drive this thing"""

"I like my coffee like I like my presidents. Not orange"

"Today I realised I really want to tie the knot with the missus. Anyone know where I can find instructions for noose tying?"