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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a terrorist training camp and a Pakistani elementary school? I don't know, I just fly the drones."

"Bernie Sanders was going to do a parody of Trump's slogan for his campaign but ""Make America Bern Again"" didn't go over well with marketing."

"What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!"

"Did you know that the new iPhone 5 helps people lose weight? When you pay for it you can't afford to eat for a month."

"What is hot and makes me hard? Being covered in lava."

"According to chemists, alcohol IS a solution..."

"What do you call it when you make fun of somebody else's gambling addiction? Slot shaming."

"Why did the scarecrow get promoted? Because he was outstanding in his field."

"Pretty certain I'm gonna drop down on one knee and propose to the first woman I ever win an argument with..."

"My ex-girlfriend and I both went blind before we broke up. After that, we just couldn't see each other anymore."