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Joke of the Day
"Why did the Baker have smelly hands? Because he kneaded a poo."
Next Joke
"What a time to be alive! Right now."
"This year I've decided I'm going to exercise religiously... That means I'm going to work out on Easter and Christmas and I'm done."
"Bought a cheap horse over the weekend. Problem is she sleeps all day. What a nightmare."
"I like my coffee the way I like my women... Anyway I can get them."
"Egyptians don't walk like that."
"What's the best part of having sex with a transsexual? Reaching around and pretending it went all the way through."
"People always complain that I'm ""out there."" [On the phone. To the cops. While I'm sitting in their birdbath.]"
"I'm glad they finally made waterproof phones. Pushing friends into the pool is funny."
"Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says""DING!"""