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Joke of the Day

"Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home? Because he knew his parents will make him return it."

"My Facebook friends fall into 3 categories: vaguely remember, don't remember at all, or never want to speak to for the rest of my life."

"What do you call someone who's studied Old Norse literature and become an expert. Well edda-cated."

"Father Christmas lost his umbrella but he didn't get wet! Why not? Because it wasn't raining!"

"I don't mean to brag but I'm pretty lonely for a girl with an extensive action figure collection AND a fear of rocking chairs."

"How do you find a vegan at your dinner party? Don't worry, they'll tell you."

"Why did the midget get kicked out of the nudist colony? He kept getting in everyone's hair."

"Did your hear about the man with a broken left arm and broken left leg? Don't worry he's ""ALRIGHT"" now!"

"Why do so many American kids die in school shootings? They're not allowed to run in the halls. [-Jimmy Carr](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OpxmKKtbw7w)"

"My grandma had a lock installed on her medicine cabinet poor thing no one's ever going to visit her again"