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Joke of the Day
"William Howard Taft was so fat... ...he sat in TWO branches of the federal government."
Next Joke
"What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died? Well I'll be damned!"
"What's white, digs holes in your garden and helps with headaches? A paracetamole!"
"People are always telling me I don't have friends, but they're wrong. I have all 10 seasons on DVD."
"I've seen such a change in myself this past year. I've really grown a lot. I need bigger pants"
"What did the comedy coach tell his worst student after his practice? ""Are you making a Mochrie out of improv?"""
"""Hey man what happened to you, you look like you've been in a fight?"" - ""You should see the other guy..."" ""He was fucking huge, I didn't stand a chance"""
"My ex was gang raped by a troupe of mime artists. They performed unspeakable acts on her."
"Just used the holiday card with your kid's face on it to scoop up a dog turd in the living room."
"I think I'll vote the NSA for president... ...because at least they'll listen to the voters even after the election."