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Joke of the Day

"What did the comedy coach tell his worst student after his practice? ""Are you making a Mochrie out of improv?"""

"Daughter: Why don't kids at school get my sarcastic humor? Me: Because they have boring parents, darling."

"How did the butcher introduce his wife? Meet Patty"

"Did you hear about the new German microwave? It seats 8."

"Cop: Maybe it's your driving. Maybe you're drunk. Me: Maybe it's Maybelline."

"I had a friend who was right handed but left footed... But he's all right now..."

"What do you call a homosexual on fire that jumps into water? A flameboyant homosexual"

"A man fighting a war finds an ancient lance capable of healing wounds rather than creating them. He names the weapon ""Ambu-lance"""

"Why did the vampire go to hospital? He wanted his ghoulstones removed."

"Hard to believe I once had a phone ATTACHED TO A WALL. When it rang I'd pick it up WITHOUT KNOWING WHO WAS CALLING. Amazing I'm still alive."