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Joke of the Day

"What's a grammar teacher's favorite dessert? SYNONYM ROLLS!"

"A guy walks into his house holding a goat. He says ""This is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says ""What are you stupid? That's a goat!"" He says ""I wasn't talking to you."""

"A Irishman, Mick goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain... Doctor: ""Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"" Mick : ""Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"""

"What part of Canada do the Inuit control? Nunavut."

"Facebook says: I know everyone. Google says: I know everything. The ""Internet"" says: Ya'll are nothing without me. Electricity says: Not this game again..."

"Five year old Little Johnny was lost so he went up to a policeman and said ""I've lost my dad!"" The policeman said ""What's he like?"" Little Johnny replied ""Beer and women!"""

"that awkward feeling. when you are sitting on the toilet and forgot to lock the door and your boss walks in... and your pants are up."

"Why did the bear eat his mate? He called her 'honey', then got hungry."

"""So, why do you want to be a veterinarian?"" [pictures an army of cyborg dogs with laser eyes and jet packs] ...I love to help animals."

"Few things are as consistently weird as the guy/girl handshake."