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Joke of the Day

"It's really hard to be stealthy while carrying half a box of Tic Tacs. The more you know."

"My background check bounced."

"The only reason why i am fat is because a tiny body could not store all this huge personality."

"What's Alderaan's main export? Dead bodies."

"How to calm a crying baby: 1. Pick it up. 2. Ok, so when it turns like 5 you can put it back down. Good luck."

"Did you hear the joke #4126?"

"My ass is going through some serious shit right now The reverse is also true"

"If you woke up and couldn't remember the night before and your ass hurt real bad would you tell anyone? Want to go camping?"

"A blind man goes to optician for a check up. The optician takes his guide dog away, replaces it with another and asks, 'Is this better?'"

"You know why Mayweather won't beat Pacquiao? Pacquiao isn't his wife."