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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a female and a freezer? A freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat into it!"

"How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production? They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure"

"How many animals can you fit into a pair of pantyhose? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, a beaver, an ass, some hares, and a fish that no one can seem to find."

"Did you hear about the cookie that was litterally made of nothing but grass and dirt? it was a real tuft cookie"

"My band is called 999 megabytes. We don't have any gigs. lol"

"I don't like to brag about my cat-like reflexes. That said, could someone please call for help? I got startled and am stuck in a tree."

"I hate to call it ""one night stands."" I prefer ""auditions."""

"Now marriage can be between any two people who are misguided enough to start a life together in New Jersey."

"I hate being bipolar... But it's also pretty awesome sometimes."

"'Just 90's kids things' 40 years later Good cartoons and good eyesight"