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Joke of the Day

"A dan walked into a barr. And Roseanne said watch where you are going!"

"If those Amazon drones can really get to your house in 30 minutes then condoms are about to become their #1 selling item."

"A dad puts his kids down for bedtime He says, ""You're fat and stupid!"""

"There's an iPhone app that scans your face and tells you how ugly you are. You don't need this. If your phone doesn't ring at all, you're ugly."

"What Bird? Which bird symbolizes love? Swallow."

"Did you know the host of the Discovery Channel's show Dirty Jobs has 2 degrees? In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology."

"TIL that in the PC version of GTA V there's a new keyboard shortcut which when you press it will cause your character to kill minorities Alt+Right"

"So, did you hear that the woman who won the international Strawberry picking contest has no legs? Jammy Cunt!"

"I like my women like I like my presidents... Dead and illicit."

"If your victim freaks out when you pull a knife, politely sheath your blade and change the subject."