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Joke of the Day

"I bet sometimes Captain America has to call Captain Canada for help, like if he needs to convert miles into kilometers."

"How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None; they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend"

"The world is becoming too politically correct You can't even say black paint anymore, instead you have to say ""Lamar can you please paint the fence""."

"Falling in love is like diving into a tin of marshmallows, then hitting your head on the bottom."

"My son fell of the couch and said ""I broke my butt!"" So I said ""I get some super glue to fix it."" He said ""ya but it already had a Crack in it!"""

"Border patrol: Why do you have 100s of DVDs of Top Gun stuffed into your seat cushions Me: *sweating* BP: They aren't even illegal"

"What do you call a burning Bible? Holy smokes."

"Have you seen www.yawn.com? Yes but I'm a bit tired of it."

"What happens when you get hit by a rental car? It Hertz."

"What's the difference between David Bowie and porn? Porn sometimes features good music. R.I.P"