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Joke of the Day

"What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung? Guardians of the Galaxy!"

"If you enjoy sitting around and doing nothing, I'm your girl."

"I want to grow my own food but I can't seem to find any bacon seeds anywhere."

"Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got six months"

"Are you from Idaho... Are you from Idaho cause I-da-hoe for you."

"When I was young, you could go into a corner shop with 1 and come out with 2 cokes, 3 Freddos and a magazine. Nowadays, there's CCTV everywhere."

"Just apologized to my dog for being a crazy person, and I could tell by the way she didn't respond that she's been thinking it for a while."

"Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?"

"If getting drunk and eating pizza rolls is wrong then maybe I don't fully comprehend how a kindergarten open house actually works."

"Why did the Berlin Wall come down? It didn't match with the iron curtains."