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Joke of the Day
"When my doctor told me that I am able to astral project at night... ... I was beside myself"
Next Joke
"A Serial Killer Known For Ripping Out Tounges Entered The Buzzfeed Office And What He Did Next Left Us Speechless"
"I was fired my first day on the job as a food vendor at the ballpark. A man ordered a corn dog from me. He was not pleased when I returned from the pet store 20 minutes later with his new husky."
"Q: What do you call a 30 foot purple dinosaur named Fred who has acne and is scared of penguins? A: Fred."
"What's the difference between babies and boomerangs? If you throw a boomerang correctly, it will come back..."
"There's a bird in the yard and she's shaking her tail feathers in hope of attracting a mate. HE SHOULD LOVE YOU FOR YOUR BRAIN, I yell."
"I often misuse common phrases People are always pulling me off for it."
"Princess Dianna had dandruff They found her head and shoulders in the glovebox."
"What is the difference between a tire and a black man? The tire doesn't start singing when you chain it."
"A show about a vampire glee club's exploits in 1960's New York. You're welcome, Hollywood."