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Joke of the Day

"I told my barber that I didn't like the way he cut my hair. He said ""don't worry, it will grow on you."""

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"Why do Apples new headphones look like tampons? Because they're made exclusively for cunts."
"Robin Williams apparently commited suicide last night. His brothers, Venus and Serena, are said to be distraught."
"Men: Don't lie to your woman, she'll catch you. Don't tell her the truth, she'll be pissed. Just pray for a brick to fall on your head."
"give a man a fish, and he'll just expect more free fish. teach a man to fish, and you can stick him with crippling fishing school debt"
"Vending machines are so homophobic. I'm sorry my dollar is not straight enough for you."
"My sense of humor has been described as ""please stop"" and ""you're ruining dinner"""
"I always put pennies in that thing at the convenience store so I can put ""benefactor"" on my resume."
"Go hard or stay average"
"A man sends ten puns to a friend in an effort to make him laugh. Alas, no pun in ten did."