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Joke of the Day
"Q: What did the emu say to the nurse? A: Mend her bones or walk the plank"
Next Joke
"waiter and customer Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!"
"Did you know you can just buy live lobsters? Anyway can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters"
"*sees a hot christian girl* Me: I am christian now,where do i get one of those plus signs? Friend: That's a cross. Me: across from where?"
"What's grey, has one leg, sits at the end of your bed and takes the piss out of you? A kidney dialysis machine."
"So I was talking to this dolphin the other day. It was so gnar"
"My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn't invite anybody I could eat all the snacks."
"Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot."
"What do you call the removal of a fence? Defence"
"That awkward moment when your in super deep thought. Then 3 minutes later you realize you are staring directly at someone."