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Joke of the Day

"The embarrassing moment when you bring handcuffs to 'gamenight' and she brings Monopoly."

"Bill Gates farted in an apple store and stank up the whole place, But it's their fault for not having windows."

"Belgium is a leading producer of beer, chocolate, and weapons. I picture a country full of very well-armed fat people. Another one, I mean."

"Where is the most ironic place to get a girl pregnant? Abortion clinic."

"Went out last night, i got so wasted that when i got home apparently i blew chunks. Chunks is my dogs name."

"Facebook now tags fake news stories from sites like The Onion with #satire to protect users who lack 1st grade critical thinking skills."

"How many transgender people does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one. But they have to sit in the dark room for a year, first, to make sure that the lightbulb is *definitely* out."

"Did you hear about the fire at the cheese factory? Nearly a total loss... All that was left was de-brie."

"Fun prank: Just leave random ""I'm sorry I hit your car"" notes on people's cars and watch them look for a non existent dent."

"My girlfriend is like a bagpipe When I squeeze her she makes annoying noises."