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Joke of the Day

"What's with everyone being scared of clowns recently? Americas already got two running for president."

"Went to dinner with my girlfriend tonight and got called a pedophile because I'm 30 and she's 19. Totally ruined our 10th anniversary."

"What fruit had to have an announced wedding at home? Cantaloupe"

"Off to the DMV. Time for new license pic. Gonna be really drunk for it. If i ever get pulled over the cop will think i always look like that"

"Why do people beat their clocks? To kill time."

"My oldest son & his gf were cooking & asked me how many 1/4 cups are in 1 cup .... Gonna write a nasty letter 2 college & ask for a refund"

"I didn't think that pigs could fly... But then I found out that Donald Trump had a private jet."

"Sorry I yelled, ""Sweep the leg!"" when you got down on one knee to propose to your girlfriend. But I stand by my advice."

"My Archimedes Heel is Greek references"

"Bruce Springsteen isn't very good at math I don't think anyone's heard him count past the number 4 in years."