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Joke of the Day

"Today is July 4th. Do you know what that means for tonight? That tonight it'll eventually be 12:00am turning to July 5th."

"What's the difference between a canoe and a Canadian? The canoe tips."

"I'll never be able to clean my house faster than when someone texts saying they're coming over."

"Why is 6 afraid of 7 Cos 7 has Ebola."

"So how about the BBC sacking Jeremy Clarkson ? I think the whole thing is a huge miss-steak."

"You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to."

"Summer Safety Tip: Before swimming in the ocean, cover yourself in gluten to lower the chances of being eaten by health conscious sharks."

"November 5, 2010 I hate the muppets bcuz of the Pig girl, she was disgusting, i hate her with my life, she doesnot leave the lizard alone"

"Which snake is the best at counting Nigerians? A Black Adder"

"What do you call a mentally retarded chef? A slow cooker"