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Joke of the Day

"Algorithm A former vice president playing the drums"

"In my experience, cross-eyed employees are the best deterrent against shoplifting. You just can't be positive that they're not watching."

"There's a song about dancing like Uma Thurman, but not about dancing like Gaston. No one dances like Gaston!"

"What's worst than finding a worm in an apple? The holocaust"

"I wonder what appeared over Thomas Edison's head when he got the idea for the light bulb..."

"What would Donald Trump do to nuclear weapons? He fires them!"

"How do you embaress an archeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from."

"What did the college junior say just before her toe was cut off? NO PLEASE DON'T CUT OFF MY TOE!"

"I accidentally inhaled some soap when I was washing my face and then I coughed and no bubbles came out. Cartoons are full of shit."

"The man who invented knock-knock jokes... He deserves a no-bell prize. I'll see myself out, thanks."