33092

Joke of the Day

"""You're not like the other girls."" ""Yeah, that's pretty much how this works. We're literally all different ones."""

"Fact: It is against league rules for an NFL player to own a pet duck. It's considered a personal fowl."

"i remember most of the fatalities from mortal kombat 2 but i can never remember which knob turns on my windshield wipers"

"what has 2 legs in the morning and 3 in the afternoon? I have no idea but it's in my basement please send help."

"Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?"

"Case In Court After The Jasleen Kaur Case He argued... She argued... . . . . He shouted... She shouted... . . . . .. and then she cried...... . . . . Result: She won by Duckworth-Lewis method !!"

"2012 finally we know ..."

"People with scoliosis are the same as you or I... But with a twist. I'll see myself out."

"Guy calls 911... ...says, ""Help me, help me, my wife's having a baby!"" 911 Operator says, ""Ok, sir, remain calm, is this her first child?"" Guy says ""No, it's her fucking husband!"""

"Capitalization can really change a sentence. For example: I love to eat candy. I love to eat capitalization."