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Joke of the Day

"DOG BOSS: ur fired ME: wait, is there any way you'll reconsider? DOG BOSS: no ME: u want to go for a ride in the car DOG BOSS: *tilts head*"

"I'm an expert at killing flies I'm a member of the SWAT team"

"Just saw myself naked in a full length mirror, and I had an epiphany. Either someone in my family tree had sex with the baboon or pissed off a gypsy."

"You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles."

"Which room in Donalds Trump's house has the thickest walls? his-panic room."

"Why are Catholics the worst drivers? They always pull out at the last second (usually to avoid a child)."

"It's so insulting when people think they need to explain simple things to me. I mean like, don't consume I'm dumb n shit, you know?"

"What did the fat guy give to the fat girl? Just the tip..."

"Christmas Jokes Q: Why was Missis Claus mad last night? A: Santa came early"

"Man: Who are you? God: Your god. Man: What's your name? God: I can't tell you. Man: No way! God: Jahweh! Man: God: Doh!"