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Joke of the Day
"Pretty sure Dora goes on crazy adventures with a monkey because her mom is on Twitter."
Next Joke
"Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious"
"""Omg, what a cute baby. He's adorable. Makes me want...oh never mind he's crying now bye"""
"New Coworker: So do you have any kids? Me: Yeah, one too many New Coworker: Haha, oh yeah? How many do you have? Me: One"
"A very tough question to answer If con is the opposite of pro, then isn't Congress the opposite of progress?"
"Fart tutor wanted, must have references"
"There are two kinds of people in the world These who can extrapolate from incomplete data..."
"My wife told me not to say anything about her friend's lazy eye so I made sure to give numerous compliments on her super-athletic one."
"I'm going to read braille to the deaf... For the ASL competition."
"How is Chinese airport security like a Russian woman? They'll fuck anybody with an American passport. I say this from experience."