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Joke of the Day

"What is musical and handy in the supermarket. A Chopin Lizst."

"I just found out about Shift Codes in Borderlands... I now have 100 golden keys."

"I think memes would be the hardest thing to explain to a time traveler from the past."

"DATING TIP: Pick up the check. Pick up the table. Pick up the chairs and the waitress and the bartender. Everyone loves upper body strength."

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? Because he only **comes** once a year."

"On your first day in jail, when they ask you what you're in there for, say ""the food"" so all the other prisoners know you're a loose cannon."

"Why did the hipster burn himself while eating pizza? Because he ate it before it was cool."

"Q: What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? A: Are you my mother?"

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was arrested for manslaughter."

"Today's average 5 yr old can't tie his own shoes & probably still shits his pants, but he'll solve your wireless network problem."