32792

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you kill a body of water in a comic book? A Deadpool."

"Guys are always saying they get their woman to make them a sandwich right after sex. If she can walk straight after having sex, you're doing it wrong! Go make your own damn sandwich!"

"Hey girl are your parents retarded? Because you're special."

"I got spam from someone named ""Amishguy."" I wonder how fast his windmill had to turn in order for him to email me like that."

"What do the titanic and Madelaine McCann have in common? They're both at the bottom of the ocean and full of seamen"

"I always let my phone ring 2 1/2 times before sending it to voicemail so the person calling knows exactly who's in control here."

"I hated the new X-men movie. Professor X was so lame."

"What game did the dentist play when she was a child?...Caps and robbers"

"Fill the pinata with goat intestines to teach children about the brutal consequences of violence."

"Come on Fred I'll take you to the zoo. If the zoo wants me let them come and get me!"