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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Targaryen girl who can outrun her brothers? A virgin."

"If I ever have a daughter, i'm gonna name her Desire And when she is 18, I'll kick her out of the house and when she asks why, I'll say ""Because all suffering comes from desire""."

"i love nature :) sittin in grass, soakin up sun, listenin to all those weird ringtones that come from those animals in the trees or whatever"

"Call a beautiful women, beautiful she will never remember Call a Fat Women Fat and She will never forget, because elephants never forget"

"How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We are efficient, and lack humor."

"You could tell if someone was wearing a cape underneath a white button down shirt is all I'm saying. #weknowitsusuperman"

"A friend of mine told me all my clothes were gay... ""Keep your voice down!"" I yelled, ""some of them are still in the closet."""

"You'd think old people would drive faster with the whole death thing creeping up on them and all."

"What did Sean Connery say when he noticed that there wasn't any electricity in the Pennsylvania countryside? ""Shomething'sh Amish..."""

"""You have to be pretty bad at math to use a calculator to check 3rd grade homework."" -My smartass kid to me just now."