179764

Joke of the Day

"You could tell if someone was wearing a cape underneath a white button down shirt is all I'm saying. #weknowitsusuperman"

"I'm allergic to alcohol.... I break out in handcuffs."

"After 10 years of marriage I've composed a check list of good reasons to get married. 1) Your family is being held hostage. 2) 3)"

"Last year I got so hammered on Good Friday I woke up in a cave three days later"

"Look picnics, if I wanted to spend three hours protecting my food with a spork, I'd just go to prison."

"I tried to catch some fog... I mist."

"What do you call a dog with no tongue? Dirty bollocks"

"I dig, she dig, we dig, he dig, they dig, you dig ... Maybe not a funny joke but at least it is deep."

"Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things."

"What did the woman say when she was diagnosed with cerebal palsy? Nothing, she was too disabled to speak"