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Joke of the Day

"Telling my friends that I prefer twitter over facebook is like when a white girl brought a black guy home for dinner in the '60s"

"What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef? A humburger."

"Re: global warming and the cold weather ""Liberals keep telling me the Titanic is sinking but my side of the ship is 500 feet in the air."""

"What do you call a kid with two gay black dads? An orphan."

"""It's not you, it's me."" - Identical twins arguing over a photo."

"I know weathermen get excited about snow, but it's kind of distracting when they jerk off during the forecast."

"I think it's unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it's ""sushi,"" but when a fish eats uncooked human, it's ""a shark attack."""

"I got a text from an unknown number that said ""Game on."" It's either a wrong number, or someone wants to wear my skin like a suit."

"Dyslexic, you say? How do you spell that?"

"What's it called when a pig kills itself? Soooey!-cide"