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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a nun on a bicycle? virgin mobile"

"No I don't watch Mad Men. If I wanted to pretend like it was fifty years ago I'd just go to a Tea Party Rally."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo? I've never had a garbanzo on my face."

"I'm in love with you and you don't want anything to do with me so I think we can make this work"

"Judge: Sir, need I remind you that you are under oath? Goldfish defendant: Yes."

"What did the 1 gay guy say to the other gay guy in a bar? Can I push in your stool."

"""I bought some dodgy steroids last week and I grew another penis"" ""Anabolic?"" ""No, just the penis"""

"Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it."

"I was on the exercise bike for almost 30 minutes just now. It was pretty easy. Tomorrow I may even try using the pedals."

"Just saw a bundt so big and beautiful I changed my sexual orientation to cake."