32261

Joke of the Day

"I can't wait to die.. and see what religion was correct"

"A waitress asks my son what he would like to eat, he replies ""I would like to devour the undead"".... He likes eggs.... Courtesy of my girlfriend"

"someone should create huge peanuts so elephants don't have to take so long to eat and therefore have more time to reflect on being awesome"

"What was the General's answer... to the President's inquiry, as to what military division has been most under appreciated during his term? ""Tanks, Obama."""

"Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg? Because he always uses a razor."

"Why couldn't the choir director figure out whether Alison Brie was alto soprano? Everytime he tried, he was told that she was young and that they tried not to sectionalise her."

"What did the parrot say when he was using the Internet? P.Cs of eight P.Cs of eight."

"I don't really have a ""blood type."" I think all bloods can surprise you if you just give them a chance."

"Why isn't my hand 12 inches? Because then it would be a foot"

"Do you know what I call my hiking playlist? My trail mix"