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Joke of the Day

"Alrighty Kids always remember: you are what you eat So eat loads of sweets and pass on those vegetables"

"How do you fix a Jack O Latern? With a pumpkin patch!"

"I don't watch World Cup soccer. If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar."

"That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is ""act natural, you're innocent""."

"I can't get out of bed. These blankets has accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust!"

"Overheard in a restaurant. Grandma: ""Oh, I could really go for a Quickie right about now!"" Grandpa: ""It's pronounced a Quiche, dear!"""

"NSFW: ""Do you spit or swallow?"" I was out on a date with this girl, when I asked her, ""Do you spit or swallow?"" She slapped my face and stormed off... I'm never taking anyone to wine tasting again!!"

"Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it's time to go back to childhood a man is already there."

"I'd like to see a world without plagerism You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."

"My wife agreed to a threesome with two girls. She was inexplicably livid when I told her she was neither."