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Joke of the Day

"You guys should see the look on these haters' faces as I scoot through CVS with two Roombas strapped to my feet."

"I just discovered my new room mate is secretly a hard core racist and i wonder if should report him to the police. The dude takes part in illegal high speed car races at midnight"

"Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!"

"I think Lance Armstrong is missing a huge opportunity by not endorsing Uni-ball pens."

"What do you say to a handicapped dog? ""Stay"""

"I tried writing with a broken pencil... until I realized there was no point."

"How many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch wash the dishes in the dark."

"Gay marriage is finally legal in America today. Finally, all the OP's can get married."

"What do you call an alien civil rights activist? Martian Luther King jr."

"What's the difference between Trump and my mom. Putin doesn't have pictures of my mom fucking a 12 year old Russian boy."