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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Trump and my mom. Putin doesn't have pictures of my mom fucking a 12 year old Russian boy."

"Met a hooker who said she'd do anything for $5 So I had her repost a joke for me that's been posted 5,000 times in the past week"

"Waitress: what will it be? Me: I'll have the rum cake but with the rum on the side W: so u want a glass of rum & a cupcake? M: yes please"

"Did you know your amazing human body actually drink lava!?! Only once though....."

"My friend bored me when talking about Latin... they had discussed it ad nauseam."

"My boss just asked if I'm illiterate, which is offensive because I know exactly who my father is."

"During Sex Girl: Promise Me you Won't Break My Heart..., Boy: you are completely Silly Dear it's Not That Much Long"

"Back in my day, we didn't have computers or the internet. Guys would have to walk uphill for days to tell me I'm gay."

"Just Spent 3 hours in the Emergency room...... .... the Dyson Ball vacuum has a VERY misleading name........"

"I'm thankful my wife harvested over $100,000 in potatoes on Farmville while I ate a grilled cheese for dinner & am sleeping on dirty laundry"