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Joke of the Day
"Before I die I want to be chased through the back of a Chinese restaurant."
Next Joke
"I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would've been a lot more interesting."
"How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan"
"I'm not heartless, I've just learned how to use my heart less..."
"What does Matt Damon call thrift shopping? Goodwill Hunting."
"My friend has OCD and says he doesn't like white girls. Maybe because they can't even"
"Dictators make great rulers... if you make a bunch of one centimeter marks on them while they're asleep."
"Do you know what my dad and Brad Pitt have in common? Neither came to my birthday party"
"So Kanye West said he is an intellectual who doesn't read books. Which I get because I am an an athlete that rarely moves."
"When she stops crying and gets really quiet, keep your guard up. You're experiencing what scientists refer to as ""the eye of the shitstorm."""