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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I go to Subway, when they ask if I would like my sandwich toasted, I say yes & then I raise my cup of Coke & say, ""To my sandwich!"""

"A man walks into the doctor's office wearing nothing but cellophane (saran-wrap). Dr. says, ""Clearly I can see your nuts!"""

"How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard."

"How did Al Gore invent the Internet? With Al-Gore-rithims"

"What game do French schoolchildren like to play? Simon 16"

"In was in a bar the other day. The barman said ""I see your glass is empty. Do you want another one?"" Why the fuck would I want 2 empty glasses?"

"If I was a quotation mark, I'd be a single quotation mark."

"Why do people with the Flu stand in corners? Its always 90 Degrees"

"If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately"

"The Iron Chef judge who said flavors ""explode"" in her mouth is so inconsiderate. Now I can't hear the show over my own adolescent giggling."