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Joke of the Day

"The Iron Chef judge who said flavors ""explode"" in her mouth is so inconsiderate. Now I can't hear the show over my own adolescent giggling."

"Simba - ""welcome to... The bone zone"" Nala - ""the what?"" Simba - ""elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard"""

"What is the difference between a wife and a mistress? The mistress says ""Oh darling! That was *wonderful*!"" The wife says ""Beige. I think we'll paint the ceiling beige."""

"I'm writing code, not making diamonds. Continuing to apply more and more pressure will not produce a better outcome."

"Why can't you smell Bran (spoilers) He's hodorless"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Rasta Barbie ...she's got a tie-dyed t-shirt dreadlocks and reggae CD; rolling papers sold separately"

"Optimus Prime runs on AC current He's a transformer"

"I got a haircut recently. I thought it was too short at first, but it's started to grow on me."

"Did you hear about the two peanuts walking in the bad part of town? One of them got assaulted."

"Accidentally ran into my ex in town the other day and then purposely put the car in reverse and ran into her again"