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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? ...I don't pay 100$ to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Coworker: You're very immature. Me: You're very observant."

"You have no idea how happy I get when phone rings and it's you. the microwave beeps and the food is ready."

"I took my metal detector to the beach today expecting to find antiques of great value. Beach better have my money"

"I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help I asked him, ""Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"" He said, ""Monumental!"" I replied, ""No, I'm not."""

"I'm no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to fcuk off today you'll feel better."

"What do you call a stuck up slut? Cuntseeded"

"What did the big carburettor say to the little carburettor? ""Don't inhale so fast or you'll choke."""

"Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence"

"Whats got two legs and bleeds? Half a dog!"