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Joke of the Day

"""I guess we should make them sound like a space shuttle is taking off during an a-bomb explosion."" -person who invented hand dryers"

"What do you call a mother who lies about being a father? transparent"

"If you're scared of butter... use cream."

"The Duracell Bunny was in deep trouble... He just got charged with battery"

"Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone"

"I wonder what made the first person that ate an oyster look at it and think 'Im gonna eat that.'"

"My black friend asked me if there was a coloured printer today in the library.. I said ""Dude, what the fuck? It's 2015, you can use whatever printer you want."""

"You can tell a lot about a person by autopsy."

"You can buy wedding cake even if there's no wedding, those suckers don't even check"

"wanna hear a joke about my dick? nevermind its too long"