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Joke of the Day

"My dad use to take me to the circus to see the tattooed man and the bearded lady. Now, I can see them anytime shopping at Walmart."

"Nice try ""Enjoy By"" date on bag of broccoli, nice try."

"It's amazing that whales have evolved to live for over 700 years and humans have evolved to spread misinformation online! Nature's wonders!"

"Bought cheap helium gas. Now boyfriend's annoying snoring doesn't make me want to kill him, but my fear of clowns has tripled.."

"Former eye doctor Rand Paul decided to run for president in 2016 Of all people, you would have thought he'd have 2020 vision"

"I have no job, no car, and I live with my parents. Making a Tinder profile as a teenager is difficult."

"So I found a hair in my pasta.. AN ANGEL HAIR! lololol"

"A genie appears to a blonde woman and offers her one wish. The blonde says ""You know, I've slept with more men than I can count. I wish I knew exactly how many it was."" The Genie replies ""Four."""

"Airport Security: Please remove your shoes Man: Don't be ridiculous, I'm no terrorist AS: Sir, do you want to use the bouncy castle or not?"

"My gf was complaining about how difficult anal was... I told her ""It's only as hard as you make it"""